


"I Love You" Doesn't Mean I'll Never Leave You

by R_S_B



Series: Eyes on the Stars, Feet on the Ground [10]
Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Angst, Infidelity, Multi, but not at the same time, of the emotional and physical sort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:20:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23239096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_S_B/pseuds/R_S_B
Summary: Following Afsaneh’s divorce, Philippa devotes herself to helping her friend, but maybe Afsaneh feels like more than just a friend. When Katrina inevitably gets jealous, things come to a head, and she thinks things are over.But they've only just begun.
Relationships: Katrina Cornwell/Original Universe Gabriel Lorca, Katrina Cornwell/Philippa Georgiou, Philippa Georgiou/Commodore Paris (Star Trek: Alternate Original Series)
Series: Eyes on the Stars, Feet on the Ground [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1292714
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea if anyone is still into these characters or this series, but things finally get dramatic! I hope you enjoy.

Philippa was reviewing the daily departmental reports on the sofa when her communicator beeped. She didn’t so much as look away from the reports as she pulled the communicator from her pocket, thumbing it open by muscle memory, only then finally glancing away from her work to check the message scrolling across. There were a number of messages she expected to see: last minute reports, a status update on the repair work being done to the plasma conduits in the warp core reactor assembly, or maybe the captain’s approval of the duty roster she’d put together for the next week. But it wasn’t any of those things.

Afsaneh’s name blinked up at her, followed by the beginning of the message. _It pains me so much to admit th—_

Philippa frowned, finally setting down the reports, full attention now completely diverted. She read the message quickly, a sinking feeling settling in her stomach. She was so consumed, she didn’t even hear Katrina calling her at first. 

“Pippa? Pippa, is everything okay?” Philippa blinked, turning towards her wife’s voice. Katrina was behind her in the kitchen where she was currently making dinner. “I hope Captain Li doesn’t need you now. Dinner is nearly ready.”

“No, everything is fine.” Philippa tilted her head. “I mean, the ship is fine. But… “ she looked down at the message then back up at Katrina. “Afsaneh’s getting divorced.”

“Oh, no!” Katrina gave her a disappointed look as she continued cooking, tasting a bit of curry on her pinkie as she spoke. “That’s so hard, especially with the kids.” She shook her head. “Poor Afsaneh. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.” 

Philippa nodded and sank back into the sofa. Her heart hurt for her friend. Afsaneh and Brett had been married for some time now, had had two children. She knew Afsaneh had had some struggles in her marriage but her friend had always seemed so confident that they were minor problems, easily worked through. Philippa sighed. She hated the thought that her friend might have been suffering alone, hated the thought that she was suffering now. 

She looked back at Katrina. “I should give her a call. I think… she might appreciate a friendly face.”

Katrina smiled encouragingly. “That’s a good idea.” As Philippa moved to the bedroom for some quiet, Katrina called out after her, “Just don’t take too long, dinner’s ready in ten minutes!”

* * *

Those months, autumn of 2244 on Earth, were a time of transition for them all. Katrina was transferring to Starfleet Command, which meant moving to San Francisco, which meant their relationship would be long-distance for an indeterminate amount of time. Afsaneh was getting divorced, transferring to a space station where the kids could have a little more stability than they would aboard a starship, and negotiating co-parenting arrangements. Philippa was stuck in the middle, negotiating her long-distance wife, a demanding job that meant she was always on-call, and a friend who was in desperate need of her support. 

They’d quickly developed a habit of talking every night. Afsaneh would call after the kids were in bed, and they’d talk until Afsaneh was too tired to continue. But Afsaneh hadn’t called yet that night, and Philippa couldn’t help being a little worried. It was getting late, and Philippa was nearly ready for bed. She’d need to say goodnight to her wife soon if she was going to get a chance. Then her terminal beeped. It was Afsaneh. 

Philippa smiled as she answered, and Afsaneh’s answering smile and warm “Hello, Philippa,” warmed her heart. She could apologize to Katrina in the morning. Katrina didn’t need her as much as Afsaneh did. 

* * *

It was normal enough to have a little trouble sleeping in a new place. To struggle to adjust to slightly different lighting, unfamiliar sounds, or a bed that wasn’t quite right (or in this case, a sofa that pulled out into a bed). 

However, on this night, that was not what was keeping Philippa awake. Behind her, in the darkness, Afsaneh padded softly between the bedroom and the kitchen for the second time that night. In between, she’d gotten in and out of bed several times. There had been pacing. Philippa hadn’t slept a wink. 

Philippa gave in, sitting up suddenly and startling Afsaneh behind her. 

“Fuck! Pippa!” she whispered in surprise. She composed herself quickly and readjusted her robe. “I’m so sorry, did I wake you?”

She shook Afsaneh’s concern away. “I’m fine, you don’t need to worry about me. What I want to know is whether you are okay.”

Afsaneh opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. She looked a little surprised, as though she felt it should have been an easy answer but found it was not. “I… I’m fine. I am. Just…” She rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I haven’t been sleeping well.” While the shock of her divorce had passed, Philippa knew her friend was still emotionally fragile. Afsaneh glanced in the direction of her bedroom. “I’m sorry, I’ll try not to make so much--”

“Stop it,” Philippa admonished. “Don’t apologize. Just… come here.” 

Afsaneh gave her a weak smile and walked around the couch, sitting down on the edge. “It’s just… it’s dumb.” She shook her head. “I’m not… used to sleeping alone. I… “

“It is not dumb,” Philippa insisted, reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze. Afsaneh squeezed back, then scooted further onto the sofa-bed, moving closer to Philippa. She leaned into Philippa’s shoulder, and Philippa reached an arm around her, pulling her close. 

“This feels nice,” she whispered. 

“It does,” Philippa agreed. They were both quiet for some time, content in the darkness just to be close to another person. Finally, Philippa spoke again. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Afsaneh snorted softly. “I can get myself to bed, I’m not that helpless.” 

“I’m going with you.” 

Afsaneh turned towards her in surprise. “You don’t… you don’t have to do that,” she insisted. 

Philippa shook her head. “I want to.” 

Afsaneh blinked slowly, licking her lips. “If you’re sure… “

Philippa nodded confidently. “Come. You need to rest.”

Afsaneh nodded in agreement, and sat up, taking Philippa’s hand back in hers. She led her into the bedroom. Afsaneh climbed into bed, crawling under the covers and pulling the blanket up over her shoulder. Philippa crept in behind her, curling against the other woman’s body and pressing her cheek between Afsaneh’s shoulder blades. Afsaneh sighed contentedly. 

“Sleep well,” Philippa whispered. 

Afsaneh didn’t respond. She was already asleep. 

* * *

When she woke, the artificial sunlight that emitted from the center of the station was streaming in through the window, casting a warm glow on the bed. Afsaneh was still asleep, sprawled across the bed, sheets tangled around her legs. 

For a moment, it felt like they were together again. Philippa was enveloped in warm memories of sunny mornings spent in bed and of sweaty evenings fumbling in the dark. Philippa suddenly wanted nothing more than to touch her, to feel Afsaneh shiver as her hand passed over her belly and up her ribs, as she kissed her softly on the mouth. 

Philippa took a deep breath and shook herself, willing to impulse to pass and reminding herself why she was here. _I’m here to help_. Whatever she was feeling was surely nostalgia. Next to her, Afsaneh began to awaken, stretching and rolling towards her. 

“Good morning,” she whispered sleepily. 

“Did you sleep well?”

She nodded and moved closer, pushing a long strand of dark hair behind Philippa’s ear. “I… Philippa, I-- I think… ” Afsaneh took a breath then smiled and started over. “Thank you.” 

Philippa smiled warmly. “Of course.” 

Afsaneh’s hand rested on Philippa’s cheek, bottom lip caught between her teeth and Philippa’s breath caught in her throat. She stared at Afsaneh’s mouth, the impulse to kiss her returned, stronger than before. Afsaneh’s chest rose and fell with every breath and Philippa longed to touch her, to feel her heartbeat under her palm. 

Afsaneh leaned in. 

Philippa ached to match her movement, to meet her in the middle, imagining their mouths coming together, hesitantly at first, gaining confidence as they gave in to desire. 

She pulled back instead. “I’m sorry…” she mumbled uncertainly. 

Afsaneh’s eyes flashed with disappointment and surprise but she nodded. “You are right, of course,” she agreed. “I’m sorry. I… I don’t know what I was thinking.” 

Next to the bed, Philippa’s communicator began to beep, interrupting them before either could say anything further. Turning away from Afsaneh, she pulled it out and saw Katrina was calling. Ignoring the clench of guilt in her chest, she set it back down without answering, and turned back to Afsaneh. “Come. Let’s make you some breakfast.”’

Afsaneh smiled and nodded. “Okay.” 

* * *

Philippa joined her in bed again that night. They fell easily into the comfort of one another’s company. 

But this night, they didn’t get much sleep. 

The two laid in bed, facing one another, long into the night, talking. They talked about their jobs, their lives. Afsaneh opened up more about the full details of her marriage and her struggles with Brett. 

Then Afsaneh asked a question that surprised Philippa, although she supposed it shouldn’t have. “What about you?”

For a moment, Philippa was struck by the oddness of the situation. When they were young, when Afsaneh had first gotten married and Philippa was single, Philippa would have been delighted for Afsaneh’s marriage to end, for her to have another attempt to win her friend’s heart. 

A lot had changed since then. They were older, and hopefully wiser. Fine lines marked the passage of the years on Afsaneh’s face. And the selfishness of youth was tempered with experience. Philippa would have much preferred her friend to remain happily married forever to someone else than to suffer the pain she’d experienced since her separation. 

And yet now somehow their positions had switched. Now Afsaneh was single and Philippa was married. 

_What about you?_

“I’m fine. We’re fine. The… the distance is… hard. We’ve both been so busy… ” 

Afsaneh nodded sadly. “I’m sorry.” 

“No, don’t be. It’s not… It’s fine.” 

Afsaneh nodded again, unconvinced. “Of course.” 

* * *

The last night before Philippa was due to leave, they split a bottle of wine. 

Afsaneh hefted the bottle, showing Philippa the label. “You know, this was the wine we drank at our wedding. I was saving it, for our anniversary. No need to save it anymore, I suppose.” Only a month before, Afsaneh would not have been able to say those words without tears. Now, she was just bitter. “Would you like a glass?”

“Of course. Might as well put it to good use, hmm?”

Afsaneh smiled. “Exactly.”

With each glass of wine, Afsaneh laughed a little more freely and it lifted Philippa’s heart. With each glass, she sat a little closer, touched Philippa a little more. When the bottle was empty, Afsaneh’s cheeks were flushed pink and the two were having much too good a time to stop just yet. Afsaneh opened another bottle and poured them each another glass. “Just one more,” she laughed. 

Then Afsaneh leaned in close. She said something that surprised Philippa. Although it really shouldn’t have.

“Pippa,” she whispered, “I think I’m still in love with you.” 

Philippa’s breath caught in her throat and her eyes went wide. 

_Fuck_.


	2. Chapter 2

Katrina spent an unreasonable amount of time staring into the mirror, agonizing over whether to wear it, twisting the ring nervously around her finger. She’d been stewing over their fight for days, every painful moment replaying in her head, slowly forced to accept what now seemed inevitable. But this small act suddenly seemed so meaningful. It felt final. 

Everything until this point had been mere words - _but god, words could hurt_. But _this_ , if she actually acted on it - that would make it _real_. Katrina looked up from her hands back to her reflection. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. Then she took the simple gold band from her finger and set it on the edge of the sink. 

Then she left. 

* * *

The dinner, a diplomatic function to welcome the Tulians and to celebrate the technological advancements that had made communication with the species possible, should have been a joyous occasion. And for the rest of the attendees, it probably was. But Katrina’s emotions swung back and forth between sadness, anger, and a stubborn determination to spite Philippa by enjoying herself. But it mostly just meant a lot of thinking about Philippa. There was little enjoyment to be had. 

These diplomatic functions were fairly new to Katrina, a part of her new position at Starfleet Command. It had only been about six months since she’d transferred from ship’s counselor onboard the _Venture_ to San Francisco, but it felt like longer. The months apart had put a strain on her marriage. She was busy with her new job, Philippa was still busy being first officer on the _Venture_ , where she was bucking for a promotion to captain. And she’d felt jealous of the increasing time Philippa was spending with Afsaneh, but she’d been certain it was all in her head. A symptom of the distance. Of her need to adjust to their new situation. She’d had a thousand excuses. 

She hated Philippa for betraying that trust and she hated herself for having been foolish enough to trust her. 

She should have known that Philippa had never truly moved on from her first love. 

But she was a professional, so she pushed that aside to make small talk. Luckily, she didn’t have any substantive responsibilities tonight, but she still had to make the rounds. She was wondering how quickly she could duck out, when she heard a familiar voice.

“Gabriel!” she called, a smile blossoming across her face. 

He looked up at the sound of her voice and smiled broadly, excusing himself from a conversation with Admiral Melnik and moving towards her. “Katrina Fucking Cornwell!” he enthused. 

Katrina grinned back at him. “What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were in San Francisco.”

She actually saw the moment he noticed that she wasn’t wearing her wedding ring. His eyes widened momentarily, but he caught himself quickly, his gaze returning to her face. He studiously avoided looking at her hand after that. His smile was still there, almost casual, but not quite succeeding. “Oh, I'm back in San Francisco for a few weeks while the security department is trained on new de-escalation tactics." He didn’t say anything about the missing ring, didn’t ask her what happened. Maybe he was smart enough to realize that this would be a poor place to discuss such things, or maybe he just didn’t need to. She’d complained to him about the distance. About her suspicions. Maybe it was enough. 

“Well, that’s great. It’s… really nice to see you again. It’s been too long.” 

“It has,” he agreed warmly. Behind him, the admiral was trying to get his attention. Gabriel turned to look, then looked back at Katrina. “You know,” he drawled, “I have to go introduce our keynote speaker. But after that, I’m free. Thirty minutes, tops. How about after that, we get together, do some catching up?” 

Katrina smiled. “I’d like that.” 

* * *

Twenty seven minutes later, they were stumbling over each other in her doorway, giggling, as Katrina tried to unlock the door. Gabriel leaned back against the door and pulled her close as she reached for the lock, nose nuzzling against her cheek. Katrina struggled to keep her palm flat against the scanner and shivered as he kissed her under the ear. 

“Gabe!” she whispered. “Someone could see us!” 

She could feel his mouth against her neck, curling into a smile, and he kissed her again, following the curve of her jaw towards her mouth. “Then I guess you better hurry,” he teased. There was a soft beep as the lock finally registered her handprint. The door opened automatically behind him, and they stumbled into the apartment, barely keeping their feet under them. Katrina giggled again. Gabriel chuckled, his breath warm on her neck. 

The door closed behind them and Gabriel shoved her against the wall. His body pressed against hers and she groaned, hands grasping at his jacket. She kissed him hungrily as she fumbled with his zipper and Gabriel responded enthusiastically, one hand sliding up her back. The other hand pressed between her thighs, fingers rubbing her through her uniform and Katrina let out a strangled groan. Her face felt hot and all she could think was how good his fingers would feel against her skin. 

Katrina got his jacket open and began to push it off his shoulders. Her hands slid down his arms, muscles flexing under her fingers. She was reaching for his shirt when he reached for her thighs, lifting her up into his arms and trapping her between him and the wall. Katrina yelped in surprise, giving up on his shirt for the moment and wrapping her arms around his neck. She could feel his erection pressing into her. 

He returned his attention to her mouth and she reveled in the opportunity to explore his mouth with her tongue, rediscovering what had once been so familiar. But it wasn’t enough for long; she was desperate to feel his body against her skin and there was still much too much clothing between them. “Gabe,” she growled, biting down on his lip. “I want you to fuck me till I can’t see straight.” In the back of her mind, she was trying to remember the last time Pippa had fucked her, and it was harder than it should have been. 

Gabriel groaned. “Fuck, Kat.” He ground his hips against her, hands squeezing her ass, and she stopped thinking about Philippa. 

She nodded in the direction of the ground, and he put her down and she wasted no time in taking him by the hips and leading him into her bedroom. It was a race to get their uniforms off and by the time they reached the bed, Gabriel was down to his briefs and Katrina was down to her tank top and panties. Gabriel slid his fingers up under the edge of her top, making her shiver. He pulled it over her head and tossed it aside, and Katrina reached for him and pulled him down onto the bed with her. He crawled up her body, leaning in on his elbows and kissing her tenderly. 

Her hand curled about his erection, stroking his over her underwear, and he groaned. His breath was hot against her mouth and he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “She’s a fool to lose you.”

Katrina suddenly felt lightheaded and she had to look away. “Shut up.” She rolled them over before he could say anything else and he seemed more than content to let the subject drop. 

She rocked her hips against him and Gabriel groaned, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. His fingers dug into her ass and she rocked against him again. Her lips curled in a pleased half-smile and she climbed out of bed to discard her underwear. Gabriel took the opportunity to remove his as well. She watched as he stroked himself, licking her lips in anticipation, desire curling in her belly. 

She climbed back into bed next to him, and he rolled towards her, bodies coming together easily. He curled around her, hand at her waist, and she leaned into him, hands reaching around his neck and ruffling his short hair. They kissed languidly this time. When they pulled apart to breathe, she caught his gaze. 

“Fuck me,” she rasped. 

“Yes, ma’am,” he drawled. Gabriel rolled her onto her back and pushed her legs into the hair. She cried out as he pushed into her. Their bodies came together effortlessly, half-remembering a dance they’d danced many times before. When Gabriel was close, she felt it in his arms, a tensing of his muscles in anticipation of what was about to happen. 

“Harder,” she panted. He pushed himself back up on his knees, and pulled her against him, cock slamming into her roughly. “Fuck,” she gasped. His fingers dug into her thighs and he thrust into her again and again. “Fuck, Gabe, fuck!” she groaned. “Oh! Yes… _yes! Fuck!_ ” Then she screamed as she came, and Gabriel followed soon after, collapsing on top of her when he was done. 

He rolled off of her, and she curled up against his side. Gabriel lazily stroked his fingers against her hip. Katrina's breath slowed, flowing in and out with the rise of his chest. As they lay together quietly, coming down slowly off the delightful high of orgasmic bliss, Katrina’s mind began to wander. The art on the wall, a gift from Philippa on their anniversary, taunted her. The books on the shelf did as well, half Philippa’s. But what pushed her over the edge wasn’t the reminders of her wife, but the absences. Philippa hadn’t even visited the apartment yet, the apartment that Katrina should have thought of as “theirs” but which she still thought of as “hers”. Too busy. The closet was still half-empty, the space left for Philippa’s things still unused. 

The wave of emotion was too much, rage and sadness coming at her simultaneously, hitting her unexpectedly and overwhelming her. She squeezed her eyes shut, burying her head further into Gabriel’s shoulder, but it didn’t help. Then the sobs began. 

Gabriel shifted suddenly under her. “Oh, fuck.” He rolled out from under her and pulled her into his arms. “Oh, Kat,” he whispered sadly, cradling her in his arms and stroking her hair. 

She cried into his chest until she was out of tears, and eventually she fell into a light doze. Some time later, she woke up and realized he was awake too, watching her. The lights were low, but not off. She felt drained, the wave of emotion having run its course, and she propped herself up on an elbow to face Gabriel. 

“I’m sorry,” she began, “I just— "

Gabriel shook his head. “Don’t be.” He stroked her cheek tenderly. She nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked hesitantly. 

Katrina shook her head. “No,” she replied shortly. 

“Okay.” 

His hand slid down to her shoulder, giving her a supportive squeeze. She curled back into him, resting her head on his shoulder and entwining their legs. It was comforting, being in his arms, and she began to relax again, hands idly stroking his back. 

She shifted in his arms, legs re-positioning, and she chuckled when she felt his half-hard cock against her leg. Gabriel tried to pull away, whispering an apology, but she reached for him, hand closing around his cock. She stroked him up and down, and he moaned in pleasure and surprise. “Kat,” he gasped, “if you keep that up, it’s going to get harder.” 

“That’s the point,” she whispered and Gabriel groaned. She pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him, sitting astride his hips. Then she rubbed herself against his hardening cock. 

“Fuck!” he hissed. “Fuck, you’re wet.” 

Katrina leaned over him, one hand on the headboard, hovering over him. “I want to ride you.” 

Gabriel nodded urgently and she smiled, then slid down onto his cock. 

When they were finished, she fell into a deep sleep and didn’t stir until morning. 

* * *

When she awoke the bed was empty but for her. She heard shuffling in the bathroom and Gabriel stepped out of the doorway, towel twisted around his waist, hair still damp. 

“Good morning.” 

Katrina leaned back into her pillow. “Good morning.” She wasn’t quite sure what to say or how to act. She’d been friends, and more, with Gabriel for so long, but this was different. A nagging voice in the back of her head reminded her that her wedding ring was still on the bathroom sink. She wondered if he’d noticed it. For a moment she hated herself for what she’d done last night, and hated Gabriel for his enthusiastic participation. Then she remembered Philippa’s face, her guilt written plain upon it, admitting she had feelings for another woman. 

Her chest tightened with rage. _Bitch_.

Gabriel sat down on the edge of her bed and took her hand in his, raising it to his mouth and kissing her knuckles. 

“So, um, what are you up to today?” she began. “I’ve got some free time today, we could—”

He cut her off before she could say anything she’d regret. “No. Um, I’m sorry. The _Curie_ is leaving today. I wish I could stay longer.”

Katrina nodded and pulled her hand back. She was angry at him for leaving, even as she recognized how irrational it was. She knew he wasn’t the person she was really angry at. But at that moment all she felt was another person leaving her. 

He was still sitting there and part of Katrina wished he would just leave and get it over with. He reached for her hand again, and she let him. He gave it a squeeze. 

“Are you okay?”

Katrina let out a breath and gave Gabriel a weak smile. She squeezed back. “No,” she admitted. “But I will be.”


	3. Chapter 3

Philippa pulled her jacket tighter around her. She’d always hated the weather in San Francisco. The morning was cold and damp, the air filled with a foggy drizzle. It would have put her in a bad mood another morning, but she had other things to worry about now. 

She’d been agonizing over their last conversation. Katrina had called a few days ago, and she’d finally called her out for everything: the missed calls that didn’t get returned, the time she spent with Afsaneh, the growing distance between them. 

Somehow, at the time, Philippa had been surprised. In hindsight, she was surprised it hadn’t happened sooner. But Philippa was nothing if not honest. A relationship couldn’t function long-term without complete transparency. So when Katrina had asked her if something was going on with Afsaneh, she’d been honest. She admitted that Afsaneh had feelings for her. 

And she admitted that she still had feelings for Afsaneh. 

At first, Katrina had been too shocked to respond. Then the yelling began. Katrina accused her of cheating and while Philippa insisted that nothing had happened, Katrina refused to believe her. 

But… she was torn between her love for her wife and her love for her first love. The one that had gotten away. So when Katrina gave her an ultimatum, she’d hesitated. She wanted to be honest. To be certain, to be a hundred percent committed to her decision. But she knew how much that hesitation had hurt Katrina. And she hated seeing it. After a day of agonizing, she’d come to a decision. 

She had to try to make her marriage work. 

So she’d requested emergency personal leave, and hopped on the next shuttle to Earth. She hadn’t called Katrina to let her know she was coming. She didn’t want their conversation to get derailed. They need to talk, to really talk, in person. 

She finally reached Katrina’s apartment building. Head down, fists shoved into her pockets, mind running through all the things she wanted to say, she was barely aware of anything going on around her. She wouldn’t have noticed him at all if she hadn’t bumped into him getting on the lift. 

“Excuse me,” she murmured, hitting the button for Katrina’s floor. 

A “no problem” fell easily from his lips, and Philippa’s eyes flew up in surprise. 

“Gabe?”

He had already been turning to leave, but he snapped back at the sound of his name. She smiled in unexpected delight at seeing her friend. He looked back at Philippa in panic and shock and she blinked in confusion at his response. As the doors closed between them, her stomach dropped through the floor. 

When the doors opened again, she strode down the corridor purposefully, suddenly breathing hard. She pressed the chime for Katrina’s door and when it didn’t open immediately, she began to press it repeatedly. When it finally opened, Katrina appeared in the doorway, robe askew, pushing her hair back from her face. Then she saw Philippa. 

“Pippa?” she whispered. 

Philippa had never been so angry in her life. She pushed past Katrina, into the apartment. “Was he just here?”

“What--I don’t know what you are talking about.”

 _Liar_. “Gabriel,” she bit out. 

A flash of guilt passed over Katrina’s face, then she crossed her arms defensively. “What do you care? Why are you even here, Pippa?”

Her jaw dropped open. “Why am I here? In _our_ apartment? What kind of a question is that? I came all the way here to apologize. Because I wanted to fix things. To make things work.” She raised her arms, gesturing around her. “And this is what I find? Tell me, Katrina. Did you fuck him?”

“You do _not_ get to make me the bad guy here, Philippa!” 

Philippa ignored her. “Admit it! Respect me enough to tell me the truth.”

“You cheated on me!” Katrina yelled. “The last time I heard from _you_ , you told me all about how you still have feelings for Afsaneh. And you had an opportunity to choose, and you refused to choose me. You do _not_ get to barge in here now and act the victim.”

“I have never cheated on you, Katrina!” she yelled. “Never!”

“Fine. Whatever.” She raised a hand as though to brush the thought away. “I don’t care whether you actually fucked her yet, Pippa. You’ve always loved her, and I should have known you would never be over her.” Katrina shook her head. “I was only ever going to be the consolation prize after the one that got away.” 

Philippa felt like she’d been slapped in the face, and the sliver of truth in it only made it burn all the worse. “It’s not like that!” she insisted. “I love you, Katrina. I came here for you! I _wanted_ to make this work. And you threw all of that away!”

“It’s too fucking late, Pippa! The last thing you told me was ‘I’m in love with someone else and I don’t know if I still want to be with you.’ Then, nothing. No calls. No messages. I didn’t throw anything away. You had already done that yourself.”

“It hasn’t even been a week! Are the years we’ve spent together so worthless to you that you could move on so fast?” She shook her head and sneered. “I should have expected this. All Gabriel ever had to do was smile in your general direction and you were opening your legs.”

Katrina’s eyes widened. “Get out!” she screamed. “Out! I never want to see you again.”

For a moment they were both completely silent, waiting to see what the other would do. Then Philippa took a breath. “Fine,” she bit out angrily. “ _Fine_.” She twisted at the wedding ring that was still on her finger and threw it to the floor. “Hypocrite,” she muttered. Then she spun and left, never looking back. When she got to the lift and the doors closed, she leaned against the wall, sliding to the floor, tears streaming down her face. 


End file.
